According to recent studies from the Pew Research Centers, about 31% of the population is single. People are single for various reasons. Some people choose to be single, some people currently can’t find the right mate, and some people have a lifestyle that prohibits them from having the time to find a companion.
Singleness is one thing, and being single with no kids is another- because now you have another factor on your hand in which people feel that they can take advantage of, and this is your time. Singleness and time have a positive relationship. As your level of singleness goes up, the amount of time you have on your hand goes up.
Hence, in your earlier years of being single you were probably the highest performer at your job because you had the time to make things happen. You could go to work early, and come home late. You probably had time to be a listening ear to a friend that has a family and a mate or they began to lean on you because they knew that you were single and that you would just be there. You have the time, right? Here lies the problem. People assume that because you are typically by yourself, that you always have time for them. Don’t let this be the case. Set boundaries.
Having boundaries are great, because creating. a dividing line between you and them means that you will make it a point to put yourself first in your life. You make it a point not be a dumping place for there stuff.
Therefore, be available for that “let’s catch up” call that happens maybe once a day, or maybe once a week. But don’t be there four or five times a day to listen to their stuff, especially if you notice that these calls are excessive and are always about them and what is going on in their life, something is wrong and this relationship is unbalanced. Unfortunately the access that they have to your singleness, is not the same access that you have to them.
You can’t call them at any time of the night, so don’t let them call you any time of the night. They can’t always be available to you, so don’t always be available to them.
Creating such strategies are not you being selfish, it’s just you being mindful of how beautiful your life is. If you allow people to dump their stuff, you can misconstrue the value of your single life, because you see the world through their lense and not yours.
Being single is a blessing because you have time to truly change the world with the time that you have, don’t just let anyone use your time for you.